Posts Tagged With: karma

Driving Miss Daisy

The rain was falling so hard from the miserable sky that it jumped an inch backwards off every surface. I had just dropped the dogs off at their daycare and turned on to Marshall to head to the spa where I work. The rain pelted the soft top of my Sidekick at such a volume that I could no longer hear James Blunt. And then I saw her.

I drove 50 feet further, wipers sliding frantically back and forth across my windshield, and turned into a circular drive. She walked with her head down, her hand shielding her glasses. Her knitted tam sagged to one side, saturated. She clutched a white plastic bag to her chest and carefully stepped along the sidewalk, negotiating the dips of the uneven pavement. I rolled down my window and asked, “do you want a ride?”

“But, you don’t know where I’m going.”
“I’ll go wherever you need to go.”

She opened the passenger door and climbed in, her tiny body shivering. The heat I had blasting from the vents on the front dash made her glasses fog instantly. They were the kind of glasses that make your eyes look three times bigger than they really are. Her curls hung limply under her tam. She spoke to me through her fogged glasses, telling me she lived up past the college, was I really going that way?

I looked at her white shoes, the kind that are marketed to seniors for walking. She smoothed out her black slacks and apologized for getting my car wet. Instead of putting on her seatbelt she turned in her seat so that she was directly facing me, like we were at a table.

“I’m all alone now. My husband passed on, I like to walk, you know. It keeps me busy, gives me something to do.” She took off her glasses and folded them in her hands. “I walked down to the MCC, you know that little thrift shop downtown?” I did. “The girl there called me to say that she had a big box of glass bottles, someone dropped them off overnight. I collect them, and she knew I’d be interested, so I thought I’d walk down there today. Never expected this rain!”

She asked where I lived, where I worked. When I said the Wild Orange Spa, her eyebrows arched. “Oh, that’s that fancy place. Well, maybe with the rain you won’t be too busy today—people won’t want to go out in the rain to get fancy things done.” My passenger had to be in her late 70s, early 80s maybe. I wanted to take her to the spa and book her for a full day of fancy things.

“Do you have children?” I asked with hesitation. She had four, two girls up north, a son in Surrey and one son, “I have no idea where he is. No idea.”

“Did you see any of them for Mother’s Day?”

“Nope. They’re all quite busy with their lives. That’s why I walk, I have to take care of myself, and just worry about what I can do to make myself happy.”

At the stoplight I turned to look at her and saw all of my grandmothers in her wrinkled face. The skin on the back of her hands was as thin as tissue paper. Water dripped from her hair and slid down her cheeks like tears. Why didn’t she have one of those plastic rain bonnets that every old lady has? Those kind that fold up into a square smaller than a deck of cards?

“So, no, I didn’t see any of them for Mother’s Day.” My heart ached in my chest for her.

“Buggers,” I said.

“That’s right. Buggers,” she laughed.

She pointed out the church on the corner and told me to turn left. My god, she had already walked at least five kilometers to get downtown to the thrift shop. I was amazed, she seemed so frail.

“You think living beside a church all these years would have made me a better person,” she said, “but I’m only human.” And this is when she imparted a few philosophies on me, as though she could read all the questioning cartoon bubbles above my head.

“You gotta laugh. All the time. If you don’t have humour about things, you’ll never get through the down days.”

I asked for her name.

“Eileen Kelly. I know, it’s a lot of e’s and l’s, isn’t it?” She asked mine, and when I said Jules she repeated ‘Joyce’ which was fine. I get that all the time

“Joyce, if you want to come over for tea or lunch one day, I’d like that. I’m usually here. I have a big property (and she did, at least half an acre), and my cat, well, she doesn’t help much with the housework. She just creates it!”

I asked to see the treasures she had bought at the thrift store and told her of my mother and grandmother, how they spend every Saturday morning creeping around garage sales. And the few times that they have held garage sales of their own, how they end up buying each other’s knick knacks.

Eileen unwrapped her purchases like they were baby birds. “I don’t know why I collect anything, seems silly, doesn’t it? Like, what’s an old lady like me bothering with a collection for.” She told me it gives her purpose though, and besides glass bottles, she collects ceramic things with little roses on them. “See.” She held up a porcelain swan with a tiny pink rose on its back. “I bought this one too, it’s a little different. This one has gold on the beak. And they were only 50 cents, which is a great deal.”

I found myself making a mental note to remember the tiny pink rose, in case I found another piece that she could add to her collection. The glass bottles that she originally went to look at “were junk” so she was thrilled to find the swans with those roses.

Eileen opened the car door and said, “thank you for making sure I got home safely.” She apologized again for getting my seat wet, and waved. I watched her climb the steps to the front door of her two-storey house. She waved again, her full arm sweeping the air as I pulled out of the driveway. Resisting the urge to not go to work and run up Eileen’s stairs to tell her I would stay for tea was difficult.

As I turned on to McCallum I passed another old lady waiting at the bus stop, shifting her weight back and forth to keep warm. I wanted to give her a ride too but I had to be at work in less than five minutes. She had a rain bonnet on, at least.

I wasn’t consciously thinking of good deeds or upping my karma or Pay it Forward. Picking up Eileen was a reflex. I was only thinking of my mother and my grandmother, caught in a downpour far from home, hoping that someone would have the same reaction I did.

rainbow

Categories: Wild Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I’m the Only One?

November 11, 2008

I can’t be the only one, but often I have been. When Vanilla Ice shook the rap world with his white skin and Ice Ice Baby, I thought for sure that everyone was going to shave their eyebrows just like Ice himself. I was the only one.
I also thought that other kids must be burying overdue library books down by the pond in discreet spots. It seemed the logical solution to avoiding the disappointment in Mrs. Powell’s grey crow-footed eyes for actually returning them so pathetically late (guess I’ve always been a great avoider of conflict). I was the only one.
Similar thinking led me to believe that everyone kept collections of bats and newborn opossums in formaldehyde as personal museum collections (numbered and catalogued of course, on shelves groaning with mica, skunk cabbage root, owl pellets, bird skulls and such). But, I was the only one. Everyone else seemed to fascinated with the Babysitters Club books, ATARI and Playmobile figurines. Or, watching Family Ties, Diff’rent Strokes and The Cosby Show.
So, this morning as I was scanning my KLM e-ticket and visa extension request for Immigration I checked my Facebook page to see if anyone was up or if there were any witty status updates that I had to comment on. I noticed a message from my brother, followed in two short minutes by another. His second message was his admission that he had just ‘’pulled a Grandma’’ when he responded to my latest update—Dax had hit ‘Reply All.’ This was definitely a grandma move so I quickly responded, laughing at him for being so much like our mother, hitting Reply All, despite having the brains to cure cancer and being capable of talking genomes and DNA strands all day. In his first message he had asked me who so-and-so was. She (so-and-so) had obviously contacted him from looking at my friend list. Any friend of mine is generally a friend of my brother’s, we are a gay package deal.
Looking at the clock, I hastily tapped out a description of the above-mentioned so-and-so to Dax, said “way to go Mom, on the Reply All” and sent the message. In that fleeting moment I felt the hot prickles of holy shit—what did I just do? I did what Dax had just done and replied to all! My palms and armpits went into sweating overdrive and my brain suddenly felt too big for my skull bones. Shit shit shit. Not that I said anything too scathing, but, I thought I was just sharing a private, semi-judgmental conversation with my brother (gay people are supposed to be judgmental, right?). How did Reply All even become an option? The office became overwhelmingly hot, I felt like there were flames licking at my face. I checked my Sent file, hoping for other news. Maybe I imagined seeing Reply All. Nope, there it was, a long list of friends who didn’t even know so-and-so, but had been just updated.
I fretted for a solid 10 minutes, trying to undo my mess, fooling myself that deleting a sent message would delete it from the history of the world. My ribs squeezed at my heart and I thought of how I might soon be contacted by the management staff of Facebook Inc., notifying me that I had been demoted to Two-Faced Book. I cringed.
I emailed my brother, painfully careful to ensure that the message was going just to him and recounted the whole ordeal (which with my run-on thoughts can eat up KB’s like no other). Dax of course would be fast asleep in Toronto, the hum of streetcars lulling him into REM hours ago. Again, I had this thought, am I the only one? (Besides Melissa Etheridge who’s the only one who’ll walk across the fire and drown in her desire when all your promises are gone).
Wasn’t there a Friends episode when Rachel or Monica left a message on someone’s answering machine (Ross or Tom Selleck’s?) that they were frantic to retrieve? Now of course, you can do a few dry runs of a voice mail message and continue doing takes until you are happy with your no longer original message. This is what I needed, someone to prompt me and say, ‘’are you happy with this message? Do you realize 20 other people are going to read it, Dummy?’’
I stopped fretting because it was out of my reach, but as I walked to catch the matatu to Kampala, I hoped that karma wouldn’t bite me in the ass. I think it did take a chomp though when the boda I was on was sandwiched between two matatus later that morning. And, the boda bike did bounce off two bumpers, oh, and then I was clipped in the elbow by another boda mirror—and slammed my helmet-less head on my driver’s helmet when he narrowly avoided a collision with a Corolla. That was enough karma right?
Anyway, I can’t be the only one. It happened to my brother, and me in a span of hours. Does anyone want to confess? It would make me feel so much better—and, c’mon, I revealed the Vanilla Ice eyebrow thing. I am exposed, I am raw, I have librarians contacting my parents in Brantford with thousand dollar fines. Please share, because you know I’d walk through the fire for you, Melissa is not the only one.

Categories: Polyblogs in a Jar | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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